She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
