wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
