I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
White coat. Heels.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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