just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
In America we eat man semen.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
