It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
