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Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
