we're chasing vodka with high fives
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
