I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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