party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize