the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I will pee on everything he values.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
