I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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