The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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