you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
