I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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