Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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