Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
