honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
