hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
