oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
