win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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