Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
