we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
