They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
