Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
