I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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