On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
