Sponge bath it is.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
