Whod you bang
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
