Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
