In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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