he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
