you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
