Non-Jews are for practice
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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