I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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