Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
