just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize