I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize