is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
