That's intense
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
