uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
