the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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