ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
