He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
