I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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