the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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