R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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