you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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