scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
