Your mouth is God's brothel.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
