i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
