happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
