I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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