I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Houston, we have a squirter
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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