I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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