the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
