Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
