she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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