her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
