Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
