You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
