she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize