you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
