I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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