i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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